Heal it in thy self
Today I gathered with some mommy friends and felt so grateful for that time together with them. Building community around other baby moms while feeling the buzz of baby and fresh mommy energy altogether is something intimate and quite special.
I lingered in the magic of it all as we danced between the breastfeeding, the story-telling, the energy of sisterhood, the tummy-times, the baby giggles. Ah, the magic.
One moment towards the end of our gathering I noticed the energy shift a bit as some complaints started spurring up. “I can’t stand…” statements around the way that others treat us and the babies and more comments on what disgusts us about the world around us came up.
Though I find it quite helpful to have a community where you can keep it real and share in what delights us as in what pains us at the moment, I felt then that there was an anger rising in me as I began to hyperfocus on the ways in which my own family members and friends disappoint me. It was then that I remembered this phrase heard in the Robcast that I shared with my friend at that moment:
Heal it in yourself.
Whenever I begin to focus on the ways in which others act and how your world could be better if they wouldn’t treat you in such a way, it is helpful for me to remind myself to heal those things in myself.
A recent example of this is how much it annoys me when I am gathered with family, experiencing a serene moment, and then I notice some people trying to document each moment with their phones. Video-taking to then post on their social media accounts and send to their friends and family. Frustration crawls up my skin when I begin to hyperfocus on the ways in which the moment can be “so much more peaceful” if only people would keep centered in this moment rather than reaching for their phones every time our baby does something cute (which is usually most of the time).
Heal it in yourself.
This reminder to heal this frustration inside of myself invites me into something way deeper and way more interesting than the urge to control the actions of my family members. Instead, “Heal it in yourself”, reminds me to stop and think, “why do their actions trigger me so much?” and “what is it that I see in them that reflects back something that triggers me so much?”
We are mirrors to each other. Or as they would repeat in my Wayfinder Life Coach Training, “If you spot it, you got it.”
What you focus on in others is a reflection of what lies within yourself. If you are constantly triggered by those closest to you, it may be time to consider the things that are dormant within us that are being triggered. And yes, this isn’t to deny the fact that you may be called to set incredible boundaries—big or small—with people in your life. But we must also remember that when someone else pushes our buttons, it is because we got buttons to be pushed. Finding and exploring what those buttons are is a journey of curiosity that leads us back home to our highest selves. And I am here for it!
